Yes. I am sure that I need to follow what is called as Gyan Yoga and has to become Gyani, enlightened being. Or is this wish itself stopping to be enlightened? Am I already enlightened or do need to put effort to become enlightened? Or it is just error which need to be corrected by just knowledge? I am not sure about the question or answers till I personally experience the enlightenment.
I am pretty sure though Gyan Yoga specially Advaitvad is path to which I must follow further, my intuition already saying to me and I can’t resist myself to go on path, it’s so obvious now. Seating lonely, raising Who am I? Question and listening to I am thought and searching to source give unique experience which can’t be explained in words, Vedanta says it as SatChitAnand, but I am pretty sure now it is attributeless, their intention might to indicate the experience of fullness, Sampoorn as at max as human being we only want SatChitAnand. Yes, it is joyful though, not generated in mind, though something different, tough to explain, only experience can help to see it personally. But what’s next? This is first step to silence mind and feel how joyful I am the last thought or it just help to disconnect all problems are of Body-Mind complex and not of me as I am nothing but source of I am thought. Though questions are flowing in mind, looks like Vedanta community has answer for them, but do I need to watch, read all the discussion, verses, Upanishads for this. Is anyway someone has on same track has same questions and someone who already enlightened has already answered it. Ramana Maharshi talks are available, though still I am struggling with more detailed discussion about my progress, is there anyone who has the answers for it. I can’t see the choice but to explore more to see if I find something, something which is available or expected to be available in this Information Age, I might not be searching it at correct place or not raising the correct question itself to get answer.
As last time I have told I have explored few enlightened beings, their books as well to see what they want to say, their videos to see something or some direction can help to proceed further on path. I know that during my progress, something will appear on its own, I just need to be open minded to see it. I realised or I would say Socrates is enlightened as per my reading, Allegory of the cave by Plato indicate the psychology of enlightened one. Ramana Maharshi is already well known. Another enlightened being I am able to read about is Ramesh Balsekar. His books pointing to his Guru Nisargadatta Maharaj, who belong to Advait NavNatha Sampradaya, Marathi Old India lineage, whose question answers related to enlightenment are translated in English book “I am that”. This is impressive book which after many related books read, I am able to come to see that at this point this book is helping me. This book contains very clear point to point questions-answers and further progress related questions I already had are answered in this book. I have been on the similar path but after lot of struggle on my own to reach to current level, which has been matching with the steps provided or experience observed in first chapter itself. Sharing recent unique experience.
I have decided or I would say some thought came to my mind to have 10km walk today or daily. Started walking. Before walking I already had 1hr who am I? Question and I am thought source search meditation. Felt joyful, silent. While walking I have started detaching from false again to reach truth which would remain only when total false discarded. I know I need to do this again and again. Refer last blogs about detachment, check date, since then I have started discarding and detaching myself which is false, now it is getting easy for me to do so, earlier it is tough, now it is easy. I know I am not body, not mind, I have seriously detached myself, detached my body-mind, detached very nearest to heart my lovely daughter, then wife, then parents, then relatives, then friends, Professional status, my name, my position, my all rich possessions, my all securities, worries, future, past and at last present as well. All Kshetra is detached fully now as per Krishna, eternal enlightened one, in Bhagwad Geeta. Earlier it’s emotionally painful, but now it is easy as you realise all these are just appearances and your body is also just appearance in others mind.
I have become witness, observer, I observed that “something (body) is walking, something is seen, something is heard, something is felt, something is thinking, something is acting, etc”. Suddenly at some point it’s tough to explain, but let me share it at earliest before my memory lost it. I felt I am constant, unmovable light flowing though prism of space-time to experience the subjective world as objective with space-time, each experience in now(present at space-time) is snapshot observed and stored in memory with space-time orderly fashion, no time details feed to it as I avoided looking at watch, (no time information store in memory, when we see the time in watch that experience is stored as another snapshot and can be available in future on recalls) though I know overall location map I travelled and each step progress orderly in space-time, and current step. I felt I am unmovable-constant, something is walking or legs just moving?, eyes lenses are blurred due to improper focus, lost intention to correct it, half eyes got closed like Buddha meditation pose, mouth dried out and lips are pressed hard, right hand fist pressed very hard, I was still walking, no intention to stop or walk, whenever alternate path available to walk, decision was automatically taken, no hurry, no motive, just some movie going on screen? Have been in this unmovable presence till I reach home, someone old age person when looked at me told something in Chinese, I am not able to understand what he told, though ignored him and quickly returned to Body presence. Reached home and slept peacefully. Though experience was unique, haven’t seen, experienced in entire life the unmovable me, while everything is moving like movie on screen, including my body is walking.